How to Practise Social Skills with Your Kids for Better Friendships

While some parents might see their child navigate playdates and schoolyard interactions with ease, others might notice their child hesitating on the sidelines, unsure of how to join in. 

If you find yourself worrying whether your child’s reserved nature is a sign of deeper social challenges, you’re not alone. While social skills may not come naturally to all kids and vary widely among children, with the right guidance and support, every child can enhance their ability to build meaningful friendships.

What Are Social Skills?

Social skills are the array of capabilities we use to interact and communicate with others daily. They encompass both verbal and non-verbal forms of communication—ranging from speech and body language to facial expressions and gestures. 

These skills enable individuals to effectively convey ideas, share emotions, and participate in activities with others. More than just rules for conversation, social skills involve understanding the nuances of both explicit and unspoken social norms, such as making eye contact, taking turns during conversations, staying on topic, and establishing common ground. 

Neurodivergent children, such as those diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), often encounter distinct challenges in developing these skills. These children might struggle with interpreting social cues like facial expressions, which can hinder their ability to engage in reciprocal social interactions. Difficulties with understanding and following social norms—such as sharing, taking turns, and recognising personal boundaries—may also manifest, making everyday social situations more complex. 

Building Friendships: Why Are Social Skills Important?

Social skills are crucial for meaningful interactions and developing enduring relationships. They allow individuals to form connections, share experiences, and effectively communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Beyond basic interactions, these skills are instrumental in fostering empathy—allowing one to understand and respond compassionately to others’ feelings. 

Moreover, social skills help children navigate the complexities of group dynamics, from initiating play to resolving conflicts, which can all aid in boosting self-confidence in various social settings. 

Why Might Some Children Lack Social Skills?

Various factors can impact a child’s ability to develop social skills. Some of these may include:

• Neurodivergence: Many neurodivergent children may experience inherent challenges in social interactions. These conditions can impact their ability to perceive and respond to social cues, complicating their social engagements.
• Limited Social Exposure: Children who have had fewer opportunities to interact with peers may not have practised or learned essential social behaviours.
• Differences in Learning and Processing: Each child is unique in how they process information and learn new skills. Some may struggle with auditory processing, making it difficult to follow conversations, or they might have challenges with visual processing, affecting their ability to read facial expressions and body language.
• Emotional Sensitivity: Children who are particularly sensitive may feel overwhelmed by busy social settings or might misinterpret peer interactions, which can lead to withdrawal or avoidance of social situations.
• Lack of Modelling or Guidance: Without adequate role models or guidance on social behaviour, children might not develop strong social skills.

What Happens When Children Are Not Properly Socialised?

During the formative years, a child’s brain development is profoundly influenced by social interactions. Conversely, however, the absence of rich social relationships can lead to certain developmental setbacks, which may extend into challenges with physical and mental health later in life.

Children who lack adequate socialisation may exhibit various difficulties, such as:

• Behavioural Challenges: Without regular social interaction, children might struggle to adapt their behaviour to different settings. For instance, they may avoid social gatherings or display inappropriate behaviours such as impulsively grabbing to capture attention.
• Sensory Processing Hurdles: A lack of social engagement can impair a child’s ability to process and respond to sensory information effectively, leading to difficulties in focusing or interpreting sensory inputs from their surroundings.
• Language Development: Social interactions foster both receptive (understanding) and expressive (speaking) language skills. Limited social contact can affect a child’s ability to comprehend others or express their thoughts and needs effectively.
• Emotional and Self-Regulation: Children learn to manage their emotions and behaviours through social interactions. A lack of social experiences can impede their ability to regulate emotions, leading to potential difficulties in managing stress or adapting to new situations.
• Executive Functioning: These are higher-level cognitive skills needed to plan, organise, and execute tasks. Social interactions help develop these skills, and without them, a child may struggle with complex thought processes needed for problem-solving and decision-making.

Fortunately, beyond the support offered by social skill group programmes for children, there are other ways you can help improve your child’s social skills.

How to Improve a Child’s Social Skills and Relationship With Peers?